- Real Housewives of New York City’s Jessel Taank is speaking out about IVF.
- The beloved RHONY star is spreading awareness to support others going through the procedure.
- The mother of twin boys opens up about the emotional toll of her fertility journey.
Jessel Taank from The Real Housewives of New York City brought style, humor, and vulnerability to the iconic reality show.
Now, she’s raising awareness about fertility treatments like in vitro fertilization (IVF) by sharing her story on the hit show. Her four-year-old twin boys were born via IVF.
“IVF is something that a lot of women enter into but don’t really truly understand,” Taank told Healthline. “ It’s a bit of a whirlwind — that’s why I feel like speaking out now. Advocating for other women is important.”
Taank represents one of the
“Fertility treatment can be emotionally and physically demanding, especially when people feel like they’re going through it alone,” Janet Choi, MD, reproductive endocrinologist and Chief Medical Officer of Progyny, told Healthline.
Indeed,
“That’s why it’s so important to have a strong support system, access to mental health resources, and care teams who are truly invested in your success,” Choi said.
Fertility treatments like IVF are often an emotional and financial investment. It may take multiple IVF cycles before the procedure results in a live birth. In many cases, access and affordability become an issue for receiving IVF treatment. The procedure is often not covered by traditional health insurance.
Neel Shah, MD, chief medical officer of Maven, said that a single cycle of IVF could cost more than a new car, and most people need more than one round.
“Fewer than half of employers offer fertility coverage, and only a patchwork of states require insurers to help,” he told Healthline. “Too many families are forced to take on crushing debt or choose between having a child and buying a home. It’s a system that asks people to gamble their future to build a family.”
Taank is aware of the barriers surrounding IVF and is speaking out in hopes of helping anyone seeking out the treatment.
She teamed up with Fertility Out Loud, a community-driven platform that provides education on infertility and insurance coverage, and connects people with reproductive endocrinologists and fertility coaches.
“I wish that when I was going through IVF, I had had the same resources that Fertility Out Loud offers,” she said. “I think it is it’s really important to… armor yourself with as much intel as possible and to feel like you have a network of people who are going through the same thing.”
Healthline talked with Taank to learn more about her fertility journey.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity and length.
Taank: When you’re in your thirties, it’s sort of this era where all your friends are getting pregnant and everyone’s having babies. It’s kind of like the next step in your life cycle after getting married. I remember a lot of my friends announcing their pregnancy, and all the while I was trying, but nothing was working.
It was very triggering for me to be a part of that moment, which should have been happy. I wanted to be happy for my friends, and I wanted to support them, but I really found myself distancing from a lot of friendships and relationships because I didn’t know how to navigate emotionally and mentally the stress of not being able to get pregnant.
Taank: Being an Indian woman, we’re very conservative. I would say that is the culture. We are catapulted into sharing happy news, especially when it comes to pregnancy and babies. There’s a very antiquated way of looking at those types of subjects in our culture.
Being that I wasn’t able to announce a pregnancy, I wasn’t given the tools or the network or community to feel like I was able to talk about infertility. It is seen as a huge taboo, and there is a huge stigma attached to it.
Taank: It was very tough for me because I remember having to tell my in-laws that I was not able to get pregnant. They sort of looked very confused, but it was exactly what I expected them to do. There was no sense of remorse or emotional support. That type of energy added to the stress.
One of the reasons why I want to be a voice for women, specifically Indian women, is that I want to normalize the fact that IVF is something that a lot of women go through, and it’s not something we need to be ashamed of or have to go through alone.
Taank: When the episode came out on RHONY, the number of Indian women who DM’d me was surprising. I also got text messages from close friends whom I thought I knew everything about, but didn’t know they were navigating IVF. It was so shocking to me that they also did it in secret, and I completely understand why.
Taank: Absolutely. the first step was obviously sharing my experience on RHONY. I definitely knew that sharing my story on a national platform would help other women.
Being the first Indian woman on the show is an honor, and I take that very seriously because I think a lot of Indian women, in general, are quite private or are taught to be quite private. I hope my speaking out about tough subjects like this lets them know that they’re not alone in going through this.
Taank: If I knew then what I know now, I would do things very differently. It’s been a learning curve, and I definitely feel like I have the confidence to be more open about my experiences.
It’s really important to not shy away from reality and to face it. I would be very open and honest about what IVF entails and encourage other people to do the same thing.
Taank: I went through three doctors. A patient-doctor relationship is probably one of the most important relationships, especially when you are trusting someone to help you conceive. You really have to be on the same page with your medical professional.
I had really great doctors and medical help, but I truly believe that IVF and going through that process is a 360-degree process. Your lifestyle, what you eat, how much you sleep, and how much water you consume all go hand in hand with the success of your cycle. It is really important to align with a doctor who sees that.
It’s also really important to meet as many doctors as possible before you make a decision. Sometimes social media can be a little bit misleading. Doctors who have the biggest following aren’t necessarily the strongest candidates. Do a lot of research before choosing one.
Taank: A lot of people tend to forget that it can also take a big toll on the husband. As couples navigate the process together, it takes a lot of grace and patience.
I took a lot of my frustration out on my husband, and I really needed to be more mindful of his feelings, too. Supporting each other and really going through the process together is really helpful.