two people hold a gift box at the same time. one person holds out a small box on the palm of their hand while a second person holds the box between both their handsShare on Pinterest
Collage by Maya Chastain

Odds are you know someone who’s going through or has gone through in vitro fertilization (IVF). It can be an invasive, all-encompassing procedure that’s part of an already long journey to conceive a child.

Each IVF cycle generally takes about 2 weeks. It requires daily injections, frequent ultrasounds, blood work visits with a fertility specialist, and, for many people, sitting in the same waiting room as people who are currently pregnant … yeah, it can be tough.

“The process of IVF, while significantly improving efficiency to pregnancy, can be fraught with physical and mental stress, anxiety, and uncertainty,” says Dr. Anate Brauer, a reproductive endocrinologist and IVF director at Shady Grove Fertility in New York City.

“Physically, many women experience bloating and discomfort as a result of the ovaries growing larger,” she adds. “They are often asked to stop [certain types of exercise], which can have a significant impact both physically and emotionally.”

Managing these side effects alone and the almost-daily appointments can be hugely taxing.

Then there’s the egg retrieval process, which is a short surgery performed under anesthesia to retrieve the eggs.

Even though no cutting or stitches are necessary for this fast procedure, cramping and dull pain can be common side effects. Resting afterward is a good idea.

“On this day, the patient must take the day off [work], which can also be extremely stressful as questions mount about work and social event absences,” Brauer says.

IVF isn’t guaranteed to work, so people going through this process may often feel like they’re riding an “emotional roller coaster.”

It can also cause financial hardship. Needless to say, the experience of undergoing IVF can be anything but easy — and can affect nearly every aspect of a person’s life.

If you have a friend or loved one going through IVF, one of the best things you can do is offer yourself to them as an outlet of support.

Infertility can take a toll, and people may often lose friends during this time. The emotional strain and lifestyle changes that happen when a friend easily gets pregnant and another doesn’t get pregnant can be too painful to handle alone.

People who easily get pregnant may not always understand how agonizing infertility can be, so they might simply withdraw. Letting your friend know you won’t desert them can be the best gift you can give.

“It is a beautiful thing when an IVF patient has a strong support system consisting of a partner, family members, and/or friends that they can lean on during the trials and tribulations of the process,” says Dr. Mark Trolice, director of The IVF Center and a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Central Florida College of Medicine.

And while you can’t take away the stress, anxiety, and frustration that can often come along with the IVF experience, you can send a care package that may be helpful during this difficult time in your friend’s life. We’ve got a dozen ideas to get you started.

Pricing guide

  • $ = under $10
  • $$ = $10–$20
  • $$$ = over $20

A calming candle

Price: $$

After a long day of medical treatments, it’s nice to come home to a peaceful environment made more relaxing by candlelight. Not only does this lidded, three-wick candle smell ah-may-zing, but it’s also lavender-scented, which some research links to reducing anxiety and depression.

You may have heard that scented candles are bad for fertility. While not definitively proven, avoiding scented candles made from paraffin wax may make your friend feel more comfortable since petroleum-based paraffin releases volatile organic compounds into the air.

This candle contains plant wax instead of paraffin, so no worries there.

The candle’s flickering light could help ease the stress of the day, and the stylish jar may make a nice addition to your friend’s living room or bedroom decor.

An acupressure mat

Price: $$$

These cushioned mats, which work similarly to an acupressure massage, can help relieve the aches and pains associated with IVF treatments, Trolice notes.

The mat’s surface is covered in spiky pressure points, which, yes, look terrifying. Still, reviewers sing its praises. One describes it as “clearly evil, but extremely effective,” while another says that this “bizarre fire torture mat provides great relief!”

To use, you simply lay back on the pressure points to help release tight muscles. It’s a great gift, but it couldn’t hurt to get your friend something else more obviously comforting, too.

A humorous mug

Price: $

The experience of undergoing IVF may not be for the faint of heart — emotions can be high, days can be long, and the whole process can feel very serious, to say the least.

That’s why giving your friend something that could make them smile and lift their spirits, like this sassy mug, might be a great idea.

A meal subscription service

Price: $$$

Trust us — your friend might feel too tired to think about food, let alone shop and chop. Takeout food can be less than healthy and contain more sodium than a person with bloating might need.

Sunbasket is an organic meal subscription service that provides healthy options in a prepared or kit form, such as:

  • dinners
  • lunches
  • breakfasts
  • snacks

Vegetarian, gluten-free, and other dietary regimens are available to fit just about every need.

Sunbasket’s gift program provides flexible spending options. Many people who’ve gone through IVF might tell you how much they dreaded the “2-week wait” after IVF while they waited to find out whether it worked.

Sunbasket offers a 2-week gift subscription that includes three meals a week for two people for 2 weeks, which may be great to use during this time. You can also purchase a single meal for the night of the egg retrieval or transfer.

Some people may want to eat foods that support fertility and avoid certain foods when trying to get pregnant. Nutrition and Fitness Market Editor Kelli McGrane, MS, RD, notes that Sunbasket “has multiple menus to suit a variety of dietary needs.”

McGrane also likes how Sunbasket provides food for wholesome, clean eating. She says, “99% of produce, milk, yogurt, eggs, and tofu are organic. Meats and seafood are free of antibiotics and artificial hormones. They also offer organic, free-range, and pasture-raised meats and poultry. Wild-caught and farm-raised seafood.”

Bath salts

Price: $

A soothing bath at the end of a long day can help take the edge off and relieve some of the aches and pains your friend may feel from injections. Adding salts to a bath, like those from Dr Teal’s, can be a real stress reliever.

There’s no evidence that the body can actually absorb enough magnesium from Epsom salts to have an effect, but the smell is nice, and the water’s silky sensation may have them feeling more relaxed in little time.

Comfy socks

Price: $$

Invite your pal to slip their tired feet into these super soft and comfortable socks. They come in more than 20 colors and patterns, including hearts and silly animals, so you might find ones that could make your friend smile.

Some people like to wear special socks to their doctor’s appointments so they have something comforting to focus on while their feet are in the stirrups.

The pack comes with two lightweight, breathable pairs that don’t cinch tightly around the ankle and slip on and off easily. They’re a great add-in for a gift basket or as a cozy gift on their own.

A good book (and a good laugh)

Price: $$

As the title of this book suggests, it’s a comedic, self-deprecating take on the difficulties that only those who’ve gone through infertility can understand. It dives deep into the harsh and scary realities of the experience while finding humor in the scenarios many people trying to conceive might find themselves in.

If nothing else, this read can remind your friend that they’re far from alone.

A heating pad

Price: $$$

A heating pad is a great at-home remedy for the physical discomfort and cramping your friend might have after egg retrieval surgery. One large enough to wrap around their stomach and backside can be a great find.

This one is XXL at 20 x 24 and heats in seconds, so your friend can experience instant warming relief.

A fertility caddy

Price: $$$

So much can feel out of your control when you’re undergoing fertility treatments, so it can be nice to organize all the medications you’ll have to take easily. That’s what this fertility caddy can help with.

It has two fold-out trays and a spacious bottom section so your friend can store all their meds safely and see them clearly when it’s time to take them. Move over, Marie Kondo.

Decorative bandages

Price: $

This is a fun and lighthearted way to support your friend undergoing IVF throughout the process of daily shots and medications. Instead of covering the injection sites with any beige bandage, they’ll have something to smile at, knowing you thought of them during such a difficult time.

Pineapple blanket

Price: $$$

Pineapples have become a powerful you-got-this symbol for people grappling with infertility.

This lightweight 50-by-60-inch polyester flannel fleece blanket comes in dozens of patterns, including cheery yellow pineapples on a bright turquoise background. Your friend could cozy up in this after long, emotionally-intense days or her retrieval.

Shower spa

Price: $$

Your friend may be waking up at the crack of dawn for ovarian testing several days a week during the pre-IVF process. Wouldn’t it be lovely if that fast morning shower could provide soothing benefits and cleansing?

These nontoxic shower steamers can turn almost any shower into a calming spa experience. They contain all-natural ingredients such as:

  • sodium bicarbonate
  • natural essential oils
  • nature-identical fragrance oils
  • starch
  • citric acid

Each six-pack contains a selection of comforting scents like:

  • lavender
  • cocoa and orange
  • bergamot and mandarin
  • peony and pear

Whether your friend’s having egg follicles measured or dreading giving a sperm sample, these streamers can be great for almost anyone facing a stressful day.

IVF can be a trying time for many couples or individuals.

It’s a wonderful and thoughtful idea to send a gift, but it’s important to be mindful of who you’re shopping for.

For example, a humorous book might bring joy and relief to your sarcastic and funny friend, but it may not be the best gift for your highly sensitive friend. Perhaps they may be more appreciative of a set of pampering and relaxing candles or bath salts instead.

Chances are you might understand the basic elements of IVF and what it is broadly.

But unless you’ve gone through it yourself, you may not be totally familiar with some elements. Here are some key facts about the process to help you better support your friend or family member going through IVF.

The 5 stages of IVF

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Infographic by Bailey Mariner

For many people, IVF involves five stages: ovarian stimulation, egg retrieval, sperm retrieval, egg fertilization, and transfer.

  1. Ovarian stimulation: This preliminary stage of an IVF cycle involves taking prescription medications that a person injects into their lower abdomen or thigh daily. This stimulates their ovaries to produce several follicles, or eggs, instead of a single egg produced during a typical menstrual cycle.
  2. Egg retrieval: A doctor will monitor the person via vaginal ultrasound to ensure their eggs grow to the right size. Once they grow enough, the person can schedule an egg retrieval appointment. A doctor gives the person a “trigger shot” via an injection under the skin about 36 hours before the retrieval. During the procedure, the person is under sedation, and the doctor uses fine needle aspiration to remove the eggs carefully. Retrieval generally takes 20–30 minutes.
  3. Sperm retrieval: It’s routine to abstain from ejaculation to optimize sperm quality 2–7 days before collection. If the person uses their partner’s sperm, a doctor will collect it via a semen sample the morning of the egg retrieval.
  4. Fertilization: During this process, laboratory experts place the sperm and eggs in a petri dish to incubate overnight. After about 20 hours, the medical team determines whether fertilization has occurred. If fertilization has occurred, the fertilized egg needs up to 6 days to develop.
  5. Embryo transfer: The person can schedule an embryo transfer if the fertilized egg develops. Many people take hormones to help thicken their uterine lining beforehand. During this procedure, the doctor places a catheter through the cervix into the uterus via a guided vaginal ultrasound, and they place the embryo(s) through. If any unused embryos experience fertilization, doctors can freeze them for future transfers.

How long does IVF take?

On average, a single cycle of IVF can take about 3–4 weeks. But it can take longer sometimes, depending on how a person reacts to the medications and processes.

Hormonal changes during IVF treatment

During an IVF cycle, a doctor often gives a person several hormones to ease the process, including gonadotropins, follicle-stimulating hormones, which help encourage the follicles to grow into mature eggs.

Side effects of these hormones are common and can be physical or emotional. It may be hard to discern whether emotional changes occur from stress or the hormones themselves.

IVF can be a tough journey and an isolating one at that. You can let your friends know you’re there for them, whether it’s by lending an ear or surprising them with a thoughtful gift (or two). It’ll probably mean more than you know.